Untangling my Brain

I’ve never been a particularly organised person. My ex-wife was very organised, but try as she might she could never get any of the systems to stick. Everything goes on my desk in a jumbled pile. Looking at it now I have several notepads, a letter about self-assessment, a wireless keyboard that I don’t use (but might), notes for an FAQ article for Creative Writers that I never got around to writing, a top hat, grooming cream, pens, a string of lights that look like spiders, my razor, several hair-ties, my laptop, and my wallet. This is not the full list, I just wanted to give you an impression!

Several of the items don’t need to be there and should be put away, but then as soon as I need them again they end up back on the desk. It must have been infuriating to live with. I realized today, while trying to sleep off a stomach book, that my thoughts are just as messy. When I think about writing, I often end up with a confusing traffic jam of thoughts. Oddly enough this doesn’t seem to happen when I’m actually writing.

I keep saying I want to write for a living, but I will often sit procrastinated, thinking my conflicting ideas. It’s hard to express what goes on, because these thoughts often occur simultaneously, but it’s like this. An event requires a date, and a location and people that all have their own plans and conflicting appointments. My brain will think of multiple dates, situation, and personality types all at once, which is rather overwhelming.

The prospect of writing become horrible. Yet, as I said before, when I start writing it’s different. Especially when I’m writing this blog. The words just flow. Stories are harder, but I think I may spend too much time over thinking each part of the story instead of writing it. I’ll look at the last sentence I wrote and get lost in my conflicting and overlapping thoughts.

thoughts

There’s no reason why I can’t stay on top of everything though if I just ignored the brain mess and just wrote. There’s this blog, ‘Hermes925’, the Games n Geekery blog, ‘The Haunted Story’, and my pseudonym project (trying my hand at a genre that doesn’t fit the Antony M. Copeland brand)! That’s it!. I could do a bit more on each, every day and make a bigger impact on my future career.

I need to get more books out, and sell them. If I can get into a routine, I may be able to add ‘The War on Magic’ back into the mix, and possibly rewrite ‘The City of Gate’ as a fantasy novel. Of course, establishing a routine has never been my strong suit, but I have to at least try.

I’ve considered trying to get a job as a content writer or copywriter, but it doesn’t sound fun. Writing for White Dwarf magazine would have been fun, but they turned down my application (to be fair, I rushed it it my excitement). Most of these jobs would be elsewhere. There’s a lot of content writer jobs in London, and Games Workshop is in Nottingham. If I took a job like that it would have to pay well enough to afford a place to live, which is unlikely.

I have a pretty good set-up here until I can make enough from books to quit the hotel job and rent somewhere much cheaper than I could find in a large city. It took Candace three years to get her income up to five figures. It’s doable. I’d rather not spend anymore of my life than I have to at the hotel, but if I manage my time correctly, the time should fly by.

I’m just not looking forward to the meeting with the owner. However she’s yet to actually schedule anything, and she may not take the opportunity to yell at me like everyone says she will. If she does, I need to take it with a large dose of salt. The main part of the hotel is actually the house she grew up in. This is her pride and joy. She’s bound to be protective of it. I’m still not going to appreciate being yelled at though.

Maybe I should get the Patreon going again, but this time really use it. Post updates to the stories and links to the blogs. It may help me become an independent writer a little faster.

First, I should tidy my desk!

4 thoughts on “Untangling my Brain

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