12/17 Appearance is everything

I hate this, but I’m getting used to. Psy·Man’s smug grin is easy to ignore. Ignoring Lena is harder. I still find her unbelievably sexy.

My other coworker, Barb, has been trying to make me feel better. She told me that there were rumours that I’d been stalking Lena, making inappropriate remarks and generally creeping her out. All wrong of course. These rumours had come the long way round. Presumably starting with Psy·Man, passing to his other female co worker after Lena. That girl talks to the guy she works with during the second part of her shift, and so on until Barb told me. I know things can get altered in the retelling, so I have no idea what Psy·Man actually said about me. I’ve already blocked them both from my N•Viron profile. I’d rather not undo that to confront him about this. I want to have as little to do with either of them as possible.

Since she told me about the rumour, Barb and I have been talking about what actually happened, and my emotional state. I even cried the first time. I couldn’t help but loose a tear as I was talking, and once the second tear was out there was no holding back a full-on cry.

She’s very sweet, but I fear my emotional vulnerability has endeared me to her much more than I’d like. Barb is married, and unfortunate looking. I can only assume that she has never been without her avatar on at home. Since there’s a silly ‘no avatar’ rule at work, we have no choice but to see each other as our DNA has made us. Literal warts and all. She really is terrible looking. I feel like an asshole saying this, but she really does revolt me. I feel sorry for her. Not just because of her appearance. She’s told me about her husband.

He spends all day playing recreational games. Doesn’t do any gamework. Not even household tasks. The house is a mess. Barb works and cleans, gives him access to the Arpies she’s earned, and in return gets neglected and ignored.

I want to help her out. Maybe it would help me get over Lena to give Barb the attention she’s clearly craving. I’ve caught her curling her hair in her fingers and giving me ‘fuck me’ looks. She lays it on pretty thick, but I just can’t get over her wonky toothed smile, her slightly too close set eyes, and the warts I already mentioned. Has society become so spoiled by augmented reality that we can’t stand to see our natural faces?

I feel like an immature man-ape for saying this, but her breasts are the worst of it. Usually if a girl is going natural and isn’t particularly attractive, you can just enjoy her boobs instead. Sadly Barb just looks worse the further down you go. Almost flat-chested, with very large hips but small buttocks. I can’t find a single redeeming physical attribute and it makes me feel shallow and cruel that it matters to me at all. Maybe Psy·Man is right and I’m just pathetic.


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